I have recently discovered that correcting poor pieces of writing helps me spot the mistakes in my own writing- something which I am very glad for. Sometimes, I find being in the post of the editor helps me realize what I’m doing wrong, and reviewing the work of others not only gives me new ideas, but also helps me see flaws of logic within the plot and character development, Point of View etc.
So, without further ado, I will present you with some absolutely crappy pieces of writing and give you a chance to correct them. Read my improved versions at the end.
The man sat on a wall and looked at the dog in front of him what a stupid dog he thought as the hound demontsrated it by eating the poisonous food he had given him
Can you make something decent out of that? How about:
Do me a favor husband, and dont lie to me when I say you liked that girls blue eyes and blonder hair over there. So what if I did? he replied. She slapped him.
Again, pretty awful. See my new & improved:
The man stood near the wall. His haggard old features and cruel icy eyes stared at the pathetic dog in front of him. What a stupid dog, he thought to himself as watched it. The hound demonstrated its stupidity when it consumed the poisonous food he had given it.
And the second paragraph:
Do me a favour husband; don’t lie to me when I say that you liked that girls sparkling blue eyes and golden hair.
“So what if I did?” her husband replied. She slapped him.
Notice the spelling corrections? The descriptions or the punctuation? These are all things you have to keep in mind when writing; you must make sure you proofread it (always), you must make sure your punctuation is easy to follow and your sentences grammatically correct, and you must never, ever forget descriptions. You also have to remember context- for example, don’t give a massive description in an action scene, but DO give a detailed description if let’s say, you’re doing a romance scene and describing a lover from the protagonist’s point of view.
Hope that helped!